今早，吃完早饭，不知怎么跟Danny聊到了wife一词。 Danny问: 什么是wife? 我说，wife就是等你长大后，你喜欢的那个girl. 他爸在旁边激动的说，然后你们就结婚了，有了孩子了，你的curses 也就begin了。 但是我们就有grandchildren了，那就是你pay me back的时候了。 我听了有点晕，心想这是跟孩子说的话么，努力的白了他一眼。 有时候，我真不知道我们的Danny会被我们两个白痴养育成什么样子。
过了些许，Danny坐在我的怀里，楼着我的脖子说： 妈妈，等我长大了，你就是我喜欢的那个girl, 你就是我的wife.
老妈我激动了一会儿，楼着儿子大亲几口。 但是我还是有自知之明， 二十年之后，你大概早把老娘我抛在九霄云外！ 但是，我的儿，老娘我为你赴汤蹈火，也是在所不辞。
Before Lucas was born, I could hardly believe I would love somebody else just like the way I love Danny or even more. I was thinking, no matter what, Danny is my first baby, he will always be holding the very special position in my heart. It turned out that I was very wrong.
When the tiny little creature arrived, baby Lucas was totally dependent on the mother. I devoted all my time to my newborn. Plus I needed time for myself to rest and recover, so I had barely spent any time with Danny for a while. He once was my only baby, the most important person in my life. I had let him go with his Daddy. I am sure it was a big change and must be a hard one on him. But Danny adapted to the change and gets along very well with his daddy.
Days, then months passed… when I had a break then I looked at him again. Who is that little one running in the house? Is he still my baby boy? Long limbs, jumping around with so much dexterity. Talking, laughing, and joking in a language which is not my mother tongue, and having so much fun with Daddy. Daddy is his buddy, the one he goes to when he has boo boo, the one he goes to get a hug, the one he goes to when he is sad. I am standing there, feel like I am a stranger… to him. I feel a bit sore in my heart, can I still get him back? I asked myself.
One day, Lucas went to bed early. Daddy was sitting in front of his computer and Danny wanted attention. I got the chance and I picked him up then I started to play with him. Soon little boy smiled like a flower.
Ron came out, “What are you doing with my boy?” Knowing him so well, I knew this was coming. “He is my boy!” I responded. “My boy!”…(you know why we got married)
I turned to Danny and asked, ”Whose boy are you?” He looked at me perplexed. I got a bit worried about his answer.
“Can you share the boy?” after a little while, Danny uttered.
I gave Danny a hug and held him tight, “Of course!”
Lucas拉肚子拉了有一阵了。 但是，他除了拉肚子，好像没有其他症状。 本想带他去看医生，但是想想我们的家庭医生，估计看了也是白看。 心想，再等等，说不定该好了。 可是他是越拉越厉害了。 而且抱着他，我已经能够明显感到他轻了。 这可不好，只能带他去看我们的家庭医生了。
Lucas过了一下磅，6天轻了9盎司。 我心头一痛， 但神医说，还可以！ 随即给了两个小瓶，让检验大便。 然后又嘱咐我， 说什么什么不能吃了。
我问她，我在喝honey, 对宝宝有什么影响么。 她说没有。 我又问，那么maple syrup, 宝宝能吃么。 神医疑惑了一下，“不能吃，它们是一类的。” 我无语。。。:’(
我表达自己非常担心，由于大意，Lucas已经拉了可能快3周了。 体重也由原先的90% 降到75%。 神医道，“没事，他个子大，经得住 。”。。。我感觉心在流血啊。
Me: What do you think the most important things in life? I think first, eat well, so you can live well. Second, having babies, since they are our offspring, they continue our life. Plus, they are so cute, look at that thing in the saucer. (Lucas is in his excersaucer.)
Me: Third, creation. Men need to create to evolve, to live better.
Ron: Right. ( I am thinking: of course, nerds like to hear that.) And making babies are one of the forms of creations. (I am thinking: right on track! )
Me: Exactly, we should make more!
Me: Why not?
Ron: Because we have already had two, two is enough!
Doh! I thought I was being logical to try to reason with a nerd.
Danny found me a leaf today when he was outside playing with his daddy this afternoon. I was told that he spent quite a bit of time to find the best leaf for mommy. He handed it to me seriously and I thanked him and left the leaf on the kitchen counter and got back to my cooking right away. It was a leaf that looked a lot like bay leaf. And soon I forgot it.
Tonight dinner was stewed beef. I used bay leaf in it. In the middle of the dinner, just when the bay leaf revealed itself in the plate, Danny stared at it and asked where was the leaf he gave to mommy. He thought I cooked his leaf! I rushed to the kitchen counter and thank God that leaf was still there…
As Danny’s memory is getting better than mine everyday, I think I will need to buy myself a storage bin to store all the precious things my son gives to me.
今年， 我家又添了一个小美胖–Lucas。 叫他美胖，因为他就是我的又美又胖。 小美胖还不懂啥是Halloween, 还得再等上两三年。 但是我还是给他置办了Halloween的costume。 邻居看到他，大呼”Cute!” 我这做妈的心里美滋滋的。 我的美胖真可爱！特别是他头顶当中的一撮毛，弯曲地翘着。让人忍俊不禁。 今年，Danny比去年更能理解Halloween, 知道敲了门后，要说trick or treat。 然后就能拿到candy. 穿着自己挑选的dragon costume, 在街上大声的roaring…不亦乐乎。
每年这个时候，也是我俩的生日。 对于两个都不罗曼蒂克的人来说，这真是个好事，因为谁也不会忘了谁的生日。 我们的生日就是个礼物交换的过程。 为了让Danny知道爸爸妈妈也过生日的，我让Ron做了一个蛋糕。 看着蛋糕，Danny confuse 了很久，说为啥不是他的生日。 我们告诉他，他的生日还要等到明年3月，今天是爸爸妈妈的生日，爸爸妈妈许愿后，要爸爸妈妈吹蜡烛，不是他吹。 小家伙不爽了很久，等到唱完生日歌，我们还没来得及许完愿, 他就呼的一声，把蜡烛给吹了。 于是他便开心了起来。 想必幼儿园里，但凡有那个小朋友过生日，他的蜡烛也是全体小朋友竞赛给吹灭的。
过生日的时候，自己给自己买了一束花。 犹豫了好久要不要买，因为花盛开时是美丽的，但是在凋零的时候，确是非常的枯萎污浊。 后来想通了，life is made of moments. 在开心快乐的时刻，我们要尽情享受生活赋予我们的美好事物。 年华似水，岁月蹉跎，该幸福的时候就要幸福。 就象每次抱着我的宝宝，我多希望时间永久停止在这一刻，但我也知道，宝宝终究长大成人，我们也会慢慢老去。 所以该幸福的时候就要幸福！
今天家里有客人来，Danny坐在饭桌上（他总是坐在桌头，主人的位置 ），开饭前，他说了句“Bon appetit”. 以前家里有客人来，他也说过， 不过说的不清楚，大家都没有搞明白他到底在说什么。 这次他解释了， 原来在幼儿园，每次开饭前，老师说了”Bon appetit”之后，小朋友才可以开饭。 Danny把规矩带到了家中，告诉老爸，先不许吃，要等老师说了”Bon appetit”之后才可以吃。老爸问，那谁是老师呀？ Danny说，”I am the teacher.” 好吧，大家分好食物，等他一声令下，开始动叉。。。
虽然苦点累点，但每当我怀抱着宝宝Lucas，我总是希望时间能永远定格在那里。 虽然他是越来越沉，要求也越来越多，但是真的是can’t have enough of him!
I always have the fear that Danny will grow up to be so Canadian and one day he will think differently about his mommy because mommy is too alien to him. After spending less and less time with him since Lucas arrived, the worrying isn’t getting any lighter. He says “Thanks mommy” when I am not expecting it. He is growing up fast and giving me little shocks here and there all the time. And also he is bringing new words to me which I don’t understand. Sometimes I question myself: “Is this still my Danny?”
I know this is inevitable as his mommy was raised in a totally different culture than him so I just tell myself to enjoy the time being with him as much as I can. And one day if it really becomes unpleasant between us, still I have many warm memories.
Danny was not an early talker( I guess one of the reasons is that he doesn’t have a talkative mommy). But when he started to talk, he brought us lots of fun: That was back when he was still the only child in the house:
One morning, Danny woke up and climbed to our bed, sleeping between us, and giving us kisses. I said “Daddy is stinky”, referring to his morning breath. Danny said right away:” Yeah, daddy, go change your underwear!”
One day, we were at John and Jude’s place, for dinner. Kids were all downstairs in the basement playing already when we arrived. I asked Danny: “Do you want to go downstairs to play with the kids?” He nodded. I lead him to the door of the basement. He leaned forward, bent down and yelled “Hi kids, do you want to play with me?”
One morning, I was dressing Danny and he made a noise with his bum. I looked at him and asked what that was. He told me:” There is a bubble in my bum. ”
Thank you my Danny, for all the happiness you brought to mommy.
It was a beautiful day, first day of the May long weekend. We were planning to go to a park. I decided to wear something nice after the pregnancy and the birth and the endless winter season. It has been so long since last time I wore a skirt. I picked one in the closet. It was a long and wavy skirt. And luckily it is generous on the waist so I had no trouble fitting in.
Danny saw me. He probably has never seen me wearing a skirt in his memory. He raised his head, stroking my skirt, looking at me admiringly, “Are you a princess, mommy?”
“What?” Danny probably hasn’t said “princess” before, he may just have heard of it at the school. So he slurred “princess”. And I didn’t understand it. Danny repeated, then Ron helped, “Princess!” ”Oh… why?” ”Because you are wearing a skirt!” Danny uttered.
“Oh….” I can’t help but laugh. Mommy is flattered to be called a princess by my sweet boy, even if it just means to wear a skirt.
怀抱着Lucas，犹如仍旧抱着我当年的小Danny。 转眼一看，那个在屋内活蹦乱跳，一刻不停的小男孩不是我的Danny，又是谁？ 是啊，Danny已经3岁了。 伴随着Danny的成长， 我们也在不知所措，担忧和快乐中度过了3年。 随着Lucas的来临，Danny也渐渐地不再是家里的小baby了。 陪伴Danny的时间也大大缩水。 如今，Daddy担任Danny的主要的caregiver.
每每只有在Danny和Lucas都在熟睡中，来到Danny的床前, 轻抚我曾经的小baby。 看着他熟睡的憨态，想到他可怜兮兮地asking for mommy’s hug。。。
Love is still there, but time is not.