Archive for the 'Funny' Category

Wheat decadent bone multi-layer

Here’s a really long bit of insane Engrish from a box of Chinese candies. Just try to understand this, I defy you.

Wuxue city (old name Guangji county) the Guangji crunchy candy, origins from the Ming Dynasty wanlinian, because hands down a loyal son the mother to dye cold illness, by fries ripely the sesame seed, mixes by the sucrose, the mother eats on severalth to cough stops is restored to health, latter improves unceasingly after all previous dynasties famous teacher, chooses a name officially in the Qing Dynasty Daoguang Dynasty as the Guangji crunchy candy, spreads until now. [Ok, now breathe.]

But the Guangji crunchy candy assumes the wheat decadent bone multi-layer, the pine crisp tasty, sweet is not greasy, includes the protein, the carbohydrate, the meals textile fiber, the calcium, the phosphorus, hard, the manganese, the zinc and many kinds of nutrition ingredient and the trace element. Is the leisure, the traveling visits friends, the high quality goods. Burden sheet: Sesame seed kernel (ripe black hemp), white granulated sugar, fine bread flour, wheat tooth syrup, sweet-scented osmanthus.

Large Hadron Collider

The world’s most powerful particle-accelerator, the Large Hadron Collider, is scheduled to be switched on for the first time tomorrow. There are assorted kooks who believe that the LHC will destroy the world in one or more of the following ways:

The whole thing is reminiscent of the fear many years ago that the first atomic bomb test would burn the entire atmosphere of the planet.

There another possibility that the kooks don’t seem to have considered. The LHC may open a gateway to a parallel universe full of evil creatures.

In the background... isn't that Dr. Gordon Freeman of the disastrous Black Mesa project?

In the background... isn't that Dr. Gordon Freeman of the disastrous Black Mesa project?

Here is a page with some really amazing pictures of the LHC under construction.

My crazy Chinese inlaws

My inlaws have been staying with us for quite a long time now, helping us while we take care of our new baby. They’re really great, and I’m glad to have them here. But sometimes they do things that are just so bizarre to me.
Continue reading ‘My crazy Chinese inlaws’

The world’s most complicated and dangerous soft drink

 

Ramune Lychee drink

 

Found this crazy drink at a T&T Asian grocery store in Toronto: Ramune Drink, from Shirakiku. Lychee flavour. It must be the most complicated and dangerous soft-drink in the world.

Check out the instructions for opening the bottle:

Ramune opening instructionsHow to open:

  1. Remove the seal from the top.
  2. Detach the plunger from the center of the cap.
  3. Place the plunger on top of the bottle.
  4. Press down firmly with the base of your palm to release the marble.
  5. Throw away the seal, cap, and plunger.
  6. Have fun drinking Ramune!

Plungers? Marbles? What the hell am I getting into here? Must follow these instructions to the letter. Otherwise it could be dangerous:Ramune warnings

  • DO NOT SWALLOW THE PLUNGER. Throw it away immediately after opening.

     

  • Adults should open the bottle for small children and supervise drinking.
  • Do not try to remove the marble from the bottle to avoid injury.
  • Do not freeze the bottle or store it in direct sunlight.
  • Do not consume if the marble is broken, missing or descended before opening.

Umm… maybe I’ll just have a Coke instead.

Scary-ass dogs

A couple really scary dogs…

This guy reminds me of Rawhead Rex

Scary dog

Rawhead Rex

And check out this monster… how’d you like to meet this thing in a dark alley?

Buff Dog You’d think it was Photoshopped, but apparently it’s actually a genetic defect. And she’s really very sweet.

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